diaspora

Dispora is a cultural jargon originally used to describe the the Jewish exodus from the Europe mainly to the U.S. due to the Nazi persecution during World War II; however, dispora probably is also one sort of gays' destiny - leaving their family wherever living in another domestic city or the alien one - for getting rid of the pressure of the expected marriage. Hmm...last week I visited one of my scool siblings who just came back from Luxembourg; it's been about three years that I didn't see her. And this time she came back with her husband and her newborn baby, so I think it's a good timming to visit them. During our catch-up, her sister showed up for palying with Morgen, that cute baby. So this is first time I saw her sister, vice verse. Hmm...I guess we are almost the same age. She's a doctor, clever though not stunningly beautiful in my subjective judgement. Yeah! I was thinking about the beautiful-heterosexual romance for a short moment. And even probably we have the backgraound gap need overcoming; yep, she comes from a wealthy family, but it's not my genesis; I have nothing but myself.... Anyway, it's uncessary for me to worry about that because I am queer. It bothers me just beccause my friend she'd like to do matchmaking.... Well, it just wasted our time! I think most of gays if they don't come out, they onece have had some clandestine affair; it's unspeakable especially to our family. Hmm...If I keep it my own secert, it's only my burden, and no harsh time or parental tension would be undergone! That makes gay diaspora....  (Sigh~)

The first hail in my life

Today I was at the station Aqua Loop as an usher (6WB). Actually, it didn't go smoothly at the beginning. I forget a lot of details, like weighing the riders' weight and height as well as reminding them of taking off chains, bracelets, watches and sunglasses... and Riley reminded me a lot. The worse part was that I didn't understand Riley's English. Why is my listening comprehension so bad? Therefore, I didn't know that two spare boards on the top of Aqua Loop were left for riders; hence two riders don't need to carry boards upstairs. I hope I can get used to it quickly and assist other colleagues in stead of needing their helps.

Some parts made me happy is that three guests remembered my name and said hello to me even after I changed my station to Whirl Pool (12A). Two of them are Caucasian and the other is Asian. The Asian guy is obvious the second or the third generation of the immigration. If ABC stands for the American Born Chinese, then here in Aussie, it stands for the Australian Born Chinese. He acts absolutely like ABC. I envy him because he can speak fluent English and make good friends here. I think his friends are Asian friendly or Asian culture lovers; consequently, they remember my name and my appearance though only one Asian lifeguard in the water park. I hate my poor English, my weird accent and my odd expression (the formation of sentences) that makes me always revealed myself as an alien. It's impossible for me to act and behave like the Caucasian, but I can make efforts and do more to achieve it; the question is that I have to be culturally colonized -- the assimilation. I am blocked in the cultural theories; I meant the theories provides some perspectives and ways of thinking, but what if it's my personal and private experience I have to face and choose?

Before we can call it is a day, the summer storm suddenly came to its power. I revere the power of the nature! The heavy shower, lightening, thunders and the hail. It's the first time I viewed the hail personally! It's like while stones, but actually it's snow in the solid body. Amazingly! After the hail, the temperature suddenly dropped down and became pretty chilly.

Labrador, QLD 2415

                                          "Changing of Seasons"

I am gonna move to Labrador in Gold Coast tomorrow (13/11/2013); and these couple days it rains in the afternoon or sometimes at night with lightening and thunder.  After the rain, it's very humid and sort of like the weather in Taiwan. Well...it's going to be summer time in Australia. Ha...the summer storm always reminds me of the first time I catch up with Mitch at his flat; he helped me to trim the back part of my hair; I had it cut myself with a clipper like being bitten by a dog and he helped me to make it better. "My your hair" - it's my hair, but you have it cut; you designed its shape and style. On that day you told me that my hair is SO black. I said, "Because I am Asian." Mitch replied, "Of course! I know you are Asian. I just think it's amazing...." What I didn't tell you is that....when we are growing old, they are all the same, my hair and your hair, all gray! (And then will you still think I, an Asian, am exotic for you?) Anyway, it will be really hard for us to meet up again after I leave Australia next year. You were born in 1982 and I was in 1981; we are the same age group. It's really a long time that I didn't meet my age group.

Honestly I don't want to leave Brisbane city because you are here. Though I know that we are not aligned together; you just want a mate and date right now after you just broke up with your ex and I prefer to go further from friendship to become couples. It hurts me most is that you told me that I am not the type usually you will be fond of, but why you flirt with me if you just think our friendship basically is like a mate or a friend. Well...it's some sick relationship whatever what kind it is! I'd better stop it in case of hurting myself. I will get it over! I am working and on holidays here; as a traveler and a  migrant worker my status is uncertain and unstable. What can I expect or look for? Enjoy this moment is what I can do, but I am just greedy and I want the relationship more than just like the dew in the morning - momentary and transient. I got sick of passing through like pedestrians and strangers. But let me go cold turkey 'casue I have to get it over. And I will forget you! It's a must!

Time to say goodbye, Brisbane.

1) Today I had a dream - it's just a very short conversation with Jim, Mitch's prior partner. The language I spoke in the dream was English. I am sick of the switches of my language channels and it doesn't function well and precisely - the insecure feelings upsets me.

2) Life is gonna change a lot next week for having a new job in Gold Coast - resigning the cleaning job in Brisbane, finding a flat-share around Helensvale and most importantly the orientation of my new job. I hope that everything goes smoothly.

3) And those friends in Brisbane passed by, I do thank you, especially Mitch - a pseer-by/a mate/a friend - who shares me with his video games, his tastes of music, coffee, the Aussie culture and sometimes he corrects my English. Good and bad memories mixed together. Anyway, it doesn't matter right now; I got it over. I think that I tarry in Brisbane long enough and forget that I am a traveler supposed to travel/wander. Just let go; then I can have new scenes in my life.

The Simpleton

What a big joke you played on me!
Please have your mercy upon me.

Probability

God has its will and I am at his disposal!

The First Western Dish I Cooked in Brisbane City YHA

Today I registered my mobile phone in Brisbane; it's Yes! Optus! Actually, I prefer to use the Woolworths Mobile at first, but its sim card was sold out all the brisbane, so i just give up. After having the mobile phone number, I opened a new bank account in Westpac; about 7-8 days later I have to go back to the bank near the Brisbane general post office to get my debit card. And finally I applied the TFN, but I still worries about the job thing. I hope that I can get used to the Australian accent as soon as possible.

Yesterday I had a very bad dinner 'cause of lacking of raw materials, but I just tried to observe others' cuisines. Finally, I went to Woolworths today to buy oil, salt, beef, tomatoes, potatoes, broccoli and milk; Today, I had a great dinner, western dishes.

----
oil, 3.00
carrot 1kg, 1.65
potato 2kg, 5.48
cream milk, 2.99
table saltdrum, 0.89
cheese sauce, 3.69
broccoli, 1.78
onion x2, 1.13
tomato, 1.96
=37.6