偷偷打開，從前從前.....聆聽的音樂
一首接一首
切掉、打開、切掉、打開
記憶的膽囊破裂，流淌的
卻是蜜糖，
那是原諒還是怨懟的偽裝？
連結，縝密
如解一尾秋刀魚骨骸
那些曾經錯置年紀的音樂
呵~
不是寫給我的情歌
終究，聽懂。
原來無關資質，
而是光陰的手只能悄悄埋下種籽
玩不膩的fort/da game，反覆練習
失去與召喚ˋ的咒語，
為了捻滅心底恐懼...
不得佔據、不得猶豫、不得手軟
fort da fort da...
倘若是我捨棄你，便不是我失去你
你不再是構成我的必須
fort da fort da fort da...
瞧！
那烏托邦圍繞著鱷魚與荊棘
頂空卻清朗無雲。
2010年6月7日 星期一
2010年4月13日 星期二
Prajnaparamita
everytime when i read you, i feel so touched.
it seems that you reveal me something but also you hide something from me.
that's okie. i will try to understand you.
the destiny i dare not believe. if one's life is determined by destiney, then what's the pleasure of being? religion is always a problem. it comforts us but it's also the source of oppression 'cause it asks us to believe instead of juding of criticizing.
Freud tells us that the existence of structure of personalities; i.e. psyche is like the body which can be shaped, built, and strengthen. then if you feel weak, how should you deal with it? to shape your psyche or to gain power from the outside?
i dont know how to make theses two systems of belief or thinking together.... mn...religion is sweet sugar, but i aint sure if it's really good. but maybe a little sugar is okie...XD after all, i'm not a "protestant" or an "amish".
what i can do is keep some distant with them. let myself being attracted to them but also deny them at the same time.
it seems that you reveal me something but also you hide something from me.
that's okie. i will try to understand you.
the destiny i dare not believe. if one's life is determined by destiney, then what's the pleasure of being? religion is always a problem. it comforts us but it's also the source of oppression 'cause it asks us to believe instead of juding of criticizing.
Freud tells us that the existence of structure of personalities; i.e. psyche is like the body which can be shaped, built, and strengthen. then if you feel weak, how should you deal with it? to shape your psyche or to gain power from the outside?
i dont know how to make theses two systems of belief or thinking together.... mn...religion is sweet sugar, but i aint sure if it's really good. but maybe a little sugar is okie...XD after all, i'm not a "protestant" or an "amish".
what i can do is keep some distant with them. let myself being attracted to them but also deny them at the same time.
2010年1月20日 星期三
tone
It's been two and half years that I stay single. Years go by, the same i am, still alone. With busy schoolwork and friends' accompanying, two and half years are not too difficult to pass honestly.
Being the same, I dunno if it's good or not. At least, at the age of 28 it's a little bit hard to keep the waist in 28 inches and the crow's feet emerge while smiling. About the unvoidable aging and metabolism slowdown, it seems that staying the same is not too bad. (I just mean the appearance.)
Different period and location contains its aesthetics; that's some generation shares their perfect ideas of dressing, hairstyle, and manners, etc in common. And I dunno how to locate my position. Where is my age group? Most of them are blue-collar workers in business suit worn out by work and their harsh supervisors. Mn...Even the stars you're fond of reveal the secret of your age. Lady gaga becomes the most populor idol for gays in twenties and Britney Spears has passed her prime; whos knows if Madonna is going to be burried in 5 ot 10 years later.
I really dunno where to find my age group. They seems to vanish in the world one day after I finish the military servive and come back to the society. They're just gone soundlessly and smell-lessly. Buddy, then how could I find the guy who speaks the same language with me? Surely it's not just about the question of age but more complicated. Little by little, I start to love the one-person sports, like jogging, swimming and cycling. Anytime if I want, I just put on my shoes and I can set off my persoanl journey.
The truth is that most of our life time is alone, but we are rarely willing to face this. Perhaps a lover could solve this problem provisionally, but in the long way of life we still have to laern how to handle with the fear of loneliness.
Being the same, I dunno if it's good or not. At least, at the age of 28 it's a little bit hard to keep the waist in 28 inches and the crow's feet emerge while smiling. About the unvoidable aging and metabolism slowdown, it seems that staying the same is not too bad. (I just mean the appearance.)
Different period and location contains its aesthetics; that's some generation shares their perfect ideas of dressing, hairstyle, and manners, etc in common. And I dunno how to locate my position. Where is my age group? Most of them are blue-collar workers in business suit worn out by work and their harsh supervisors. Mn...Even the stars you're fond of reveal the secret of your age. Lady gaga becomes the most populor idol for gays in twenties and Britney Spears has passed her prime; whos knows if Madonna is going to be burried in 5 ot 10 years later.
I really dunno where to find my age group. They seems to vanish in the world one day after I finish the military servive and come back to the society. They're just gone soundlessly and smell-lessly. Buddy, then how could I find the guy who speaks the same language with me? Surely it's not just about the question of age but more complicated. Little by little, I start to love the one-person sports, like jogging, swimming and cycling. Anytime if I want, I just put on my shoes and I can set off my persoanl journey.
The truth is that most of our life time is alone, but we are rarely willing to face this. Perhaps a lover could solve this problem provisionally, but in the long way of life we still have to laern how to handle with the fear of loneliness.
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