diaspora

Dispora is a cultural jargon originally used to describe the the Jewish exodus from the Europe mainly to the U.S. due to the Nazi persecution during World War II; however, dispora probably is also one sort of gays' destiny - leaving their family wherever living in another domestic city or the alien one - for getting rid of the pressure of the expected marriage. Hmm...last week I visited one of my scool siblings who just came back from Luxembourg; it's been about three years that I didn't see her. And this time she came back with her husband and her newborn baby, so I think it's a good timming to visit them. During our catch-up, her sister showed up for palying with Morgen, that cute baby. So this is first time I saw her sister, vice verse. Hmm...I guess we are almost the same age. She's a doctor, clever though not stunningly beautiful in my subjective judgement. Yeah! I was thinking about the beautiful-heterosexual romance for a short moment. And even probably we have the backgraound gap need overcoming; yep, she comes from a wealthy family, but it's not my genesis; I have nothing but myself.... Anyway, it's uncessary for me to worry about that because I am queer. It bothers me just beccause my friend she'd like to do matchmaking.... Well, it just wasted our time! I think most of gays if they don't come out, they onece have had some clandestine affair; it's unspeakable especially to our family. Hmm...If I keep it my own secert, it's only my burden, and no harsh time or parental tension would be undergone! That makes gay diaspora....  (Sigh~)

be brave

Two sides of world I build, I set up...one day it will become one. No more white lies or frilly disguise are needed. Buddy, it's always me, the guy, u r familiar with, except my sexual orientation. The str8 world, ur law and ur rules don't exactly belong to me or put me into ur consideration, but i ain't trying to reject or destroy all of them 'cause the "myth" has its value(though it's also the source of oppression). Anyway, too many questions/problems of ethics that we as human being cannot handle with, so we bury them into myth.

Foucault, 'To be "gay," I think, is not to identify with the psychological traits and the visible masks of the homosexual, but to try to define and develop a way of life.' Identitfication is always a tricky game about politics. What is gayness? It depends on how "we" shape ourselves to distinguish us from the str8 and "their" value. But the interesting question is if we really need to do it? the ans might change over time. And surely i will tell u the different answers according to ur sexuality. As I said it's about politics; it's always a tricky game.

bookishness

To be "gay," I think, is not to identify with the psychological traits and the visible masks of the homosexual, but to try to define and develop a way of life. (207)

Foucault, Michel. "Friendship as a Way of Life." Foucault Live: (Interviews, 1966-84). Trans. John Johnston. Ed. Sylvere Lotringer. New York: Semiotext(e), 1989. 203-210.